Furry Assassins
by Ghostkaiba297
Summary: Five twisted demons fantasize graphically violent things about Renamon and other furries, then decide to assassinate her for real, despite the fact that one of them fears being smoted by God for it.


**FURRY ASSASSINS**

**Warning: Contains several anthologies of furry assassinations. Know that I have nothing against them. Actually the four depicted here are my most favorite of them all. Read the end and you'll see. Rated PG13 for violence.**

"Attention minions!" said Armgabeddar. "Today let's think some evil fantasies about furries!"

"I've got one," said Bolt Staccada.

* * *

One day, Renamon was walking to the store. Suddenly a giant cockroach appeared. The cockroach ate Renamon. He awallowed her whole. But he spit her out cause he didn't like the taste and walked away. Then the cockroach dropped dead and burned in all nine circles of hell for letting Renamon live.

Renamon went fishing at Lake Hylia. On her first cast she caught a pike, and the hook fell out of its mouth and it bit her toe off. She used a burning hot pipe to cauterize the wound, but lost two pints of blood before she could reach the saw house. Jigsaw was currently placing people in saw traps and he placed her in a trap with Krystal, Lucario, and Fox.

Renamon's back was glued to the back of a car that was running and suspended directly above Krystal's head. The back of the car was attached to some chains that were attached to Fox's arms and legs. Lucario was strapped to a garage door.

"Hello furries," said Jigsaw. "I am the number one furry assassin in the world. You will all die unless Renamon reaches the switch in front of her."

Renamon tried to reach the switch. It tore a lot of the skin off her back. As she was about to reach it, the timer reached zero.

* * *

"OK, that's quite enough!" said Sivelglith, who had recently gotten over some recurring nightmares about eternal damnation. "We might go to hell for this!"

"Relax," said Ashtalamoko, a demon who resembled a punk grasshopper. "How about this story?"

* * *

Fox, Krystal, Lucario, and Renamon were the only four survivors of the zombie apocalypse aside from CEDA, who had abandoned them because Renamon was with them.

"If we save Renamon, we'll drop dead and burn in all nine circles of hell," said the director.

"But what about Krystal?" said a more sympathetic member who was infatuated with her. "Wouldn't that cancel it out? Aren't we going to hell for leaving Krystal for dead?"

"That's why this game is called Left 4 Dead, idiots!" said the director, and he shot the Krystal lover in the head.

The four foxes ran on a bridge above a raging sea of water.

"Even if you are a strong swimmer, if you fall down there you drown. End of story," said Fox. "Makes no difference between an Olympic champion or Bomberman."

They ran as far as they could. A Hunter pounced at Renamon, but Fox shot him and he fell over the bridge. A Boomer puked on all four of them and zombies began to mob them. Lucario was killed before the other zombies were. A Smoker began pulling Renamon. Krystal shot him in the head. Then a Jockey jumped on Renamon and a Charger ran at Krystal, and all four fell over the edge of the bridge.

"KRYSTAL!" said Fox, but the next second a Tank appeared and punched Fox over the edge of the bridge.

The CEDA director breathed a sigh of satisfaction as Renamon drowned and sank into watery depths.

* * *

"You're insane," said Sivelglith.

"I'm not the one who slit the throat of that fox," said Ashtalamoko.

"That was before I got that vision," said Sivelglith.

"Here's a better story," said Flametaelite.

* * *

Fox, Krystal, Renamon, and Lucario were running from savage beasts. They saw a hole and crawled through it. It was dark. Fox turned on a Firefly lantern and gasped. The entire area was full of all the pests and parasites one could imagine. Giant worms began eating Krystal. Fox shot at some unidentifiable flesh-eating insectoids but there were too many and they began eating Fox. Renamon and Lucario ran but a giant spider reached out of a hole and pulled Renamon into it. Then several small bugs of every sort imaginable crawled down Lucario's throat and into his ears.

* * *

"STOP!" said Sivelglith. "I shouldn't be talking to you guys! At least we're not trying to kill them ourselves."

"Good idea," said Armgabeddar. "Let's kill Renamon."

"Are you crazy?" said Sivelglith. "God is going to smote us! We're gonna get smote!"

* * *

The five demons snuck up on Renamon. Armgabeddar aimed a sniper rifle at Renamon and was about to pull the trigger when suddenly Tails jumped on his head! Armgabeddar threw him away and raised his sniper rifle.

"I'm gonna kill you first," he said.

"Diamond Storm!" came a voice behind him. Armgabeddar turned around to see Renamon shoot several diamond shards at him. They exploded, vaporizing Armgabeddar.

Then, lightning struck from the heavens, hitting Bolt Staccada, Flametaelite, Sivelglith, and Ashtalamoko, and all of them dropped dead.

* * *

All five demons wound up traveling through all nine circles of hell.

* * *

**Told you I didn't hate any of the furries! God smote all the demons except their leader, who gets killed by Renamon. Tails cameo and Rat Race reference FTW**


End file.
